“My friend Angela, she’s no angel. But my friend Demonica, she’s aptly named.”

“My name is Mr. Potatohead, and I’m looking for my wife. But I fear I’m too late, and that she’s already part of some combo meal somewhere.”

“Necessity is the mother of invention. She’s also my mother, though Invention and I have different dads.”

“My girlfriend is as reasonable as Lady Justice, and just as blindfolded. She’s tied up in the trunk this very moment.”

“She’s the kind of woman I could see myself spending the rest of my life with—after I turn 99.”

“I’m twice as old as she is tall. She’s half my age in height. We have a David and Goliath kind of love.”

“The most environmentally friendly last name is Green.”