“My friend had sex with half of all the women in the city. I think he had sex with the lower half of all the women.”

“Women won’t sleep with me for the same reason that I don’t pay for sex—I don’t have any money. And if I did have money, I wouldn’t pay for sex, because women would sleep with me for free.”

“Women are called the fairer sex. Are they just not as tan, or are they actually more reasonable?”

“No, lady, you didn’t have sex with me, you had sex with my clone. I’m sorry, but I don’t know you.”

“My girlfriend Likes Sex and the City. Trouble is, I live in the country.”

“My sex life is Ok. Specifically, Oklahoma City.”

“It’s absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food.”