“My girlfriend bought me a collared shirt for my birthday, mainly so I don’t get too far ahead of her when she takes me for a walk.”
“My new employer made me get a drug test, so I ripped off my shirt, flexed my muscles, and said, “You suspect me of taking steroids, don’t you?”
“My girlfriend just bought me a portable toaster. And my birthday’s coming up, so I’m half expecting her to buy me a portable bathtub to go along with it.”
“Lissa's guardians- she had a fleet now- walked with her. I was among them, wearing my finest black and white, including the red collar marking me as a royal guardian.”
“Me and my girlfriend aren’t a good fit. Her clothes are much too small for me.”
“I made plans for 8:00. When my girlfriend told me she was late, I told her, “That’s funny, because my sperm was absent.”