“My girlfriend Likes Sex and the City. Trouble is, I live in the country.”

“My friend had sex with half of all the women in the city. I think he had sex with the lower half of all the women.”

“My sex life is Ok. Specifically, Oklahoma City.”

“I just broke up with my girlfriend. My wife will be pleased. But first she’ll be displeased, because she didn’t know I had a girlfriend.”

“I’ve only been with my girlfriend for three days, but it feels like a lifetime—the lifetime of a gnat.”

“My girlfriend has two aliases. Clones aside, it’s the only time I’ve ever felt like I was cheating on one person with the same person. 
”

“The other day I woke up to find my girlfriend already gone from the house, and a sticky note on the fridge that said, "I love you." "Oh my God," I thought. "Somebody's obsessed with me, and they kidnapped my girlfriend just to get closer to me.”