“My knowledge is mine to use as I see fit. But I’m way too out of shape to see fit.”

“I’d use my shadow as a blanket, but it’s too cold. It’s a shame, because it’d fit snuggly over my body.”

“My love is like one of those wooden Russian nesting dolls (matryoshka doll). I know, because your heart fits perfectly inside mine.
”

“Me and my girlfriend aren’t a good fit. Her clothes are much too small for me.”

“I'm going to wear my birthday suit, even though it barely fits in the middle when I get excited and it stretches out.”

“I drink coffee like a civilized man—alone in a cave, wearing a loincloth, and grunting in frustration because my club is too thick to fit in my cup to stir in the sugar.”

“When I fake smile the corners of my mouth twitch from tiredness, then nervousness, as I wonder if anybody can see my mouth quivering and figure out that I’m faking my friendliness.”