“My love is like an empty bottle of wine. If you’re wondering, my ex wife drank it all.”

“To me, love is either a pebble, a rock, or a boulder. Or a grain of sand, if you’re trying to measure the love my ex wife had for me.”

“I was so in love I went into my room and drank half a bottle of Robitussin.”

“You’re my best friend,You’re my love,You’re my life.I can’t wait tomake youmy wife!Love, Ryan”

“I turned to face Audrey, and everything I loved was right there in her eyes, the memories tangible: the schooldays and sleepovers, the cheap bottles of wine and sappy chick flicks. She was there for my mother’s drunken relapses, there to hold me until I fell asleep the first time the ex from Seattle hit me. It was all there, and my God, each memory was suddenly sacred and the sun rose and set upon it.”

“Suddenly the drunken sweetheart appeared out of my door.She drank a cup of ruby wine and sat by my side.Seeing and holding the lockets of her hairMy face became all eyes, and my eyes all hands.”