“My love is like the shape your mouth makes while you whistle. Would you mind if I accompanied you on my harmonica?”

“My love for you is shaped like a left foot. And if you pulled my love out of your ass you’d know that.”

“Question for your life: If love existed an octave above where your vocal range ended, would you buy a dog whistle to get my attention?”

“Eyes are shaped like leaves, mouths are shaped like leaves, and goodbyes are shaped like leaves. But my love, that is shaped like a tree.”

“I didn’t form my lips into the shape of a kiss. I was merely about to whistle.”

“Would it make you more comfortable if I wore a condom while I shook your hand? I could wear it on my penis, or stretch it over my hand. I don’t know these things. I’m new to politics.”

“My thoughts absorb sound like sponges soak up water. Please don’t whistle while I masturbate.”