“My love is made out of three things: the dawn, the sunrise, and redundancy. I poured you two glasses, which can easily and efficiently be drunk out of one cup.”

“I made myself an “I Love Jennifer” jacket out of my old “I Love Jenn” jacket. Two girls, one continuous love. The I Love Jennifer is a little off-center, but then so am I. Better than being self-centered, as my clone would probably say.”

“My love for you would blot out the sun like a cloud made out of yogurt. I hope you brought a spoon.”

“The love doctor, Orafoura, says there are two things that a guy can do to promote a healthy relationship: One, grow out a handlebar mustache, and two, grow a mullet. I don’t know, will radiating lust make me a better lover?”

“I don’t know where, but I know how and why. Two out of three out of six ain’t bad.”

“I love the sunrise, but not as much as I love you. Will you pass me my midnight-black blindfold?”

“If it’s not one thing, it’s another. The other thing is, of course, two. That makes the one thing love, because two is the smallest number you can have to get the one.”