“My mashed potatoes come with a masturbation sound you pour on top, like gravy. I got the recipe from Pee Wee Herman.”

“At the potluck, I brought two dishes: knowledge and mashed potatoes and gravy. Guess which one got cleaned out and which one hardly got touched.”

“Much to my delight, I found her panties to be full of mashed potatoes—but I had to supply all the gravy.”

“I don't like questions at all if they are anything like how I like my mashed potatoes: loaded.”

“I saw him do a No More Potatoes Dance, after he saw me stuff the last of the mashed potatoes in my pocket.
”

“I sure wish deodorant tasted like butter, because then I could keep mashed potatoes warm and tasty in my armpits all day long.”

“My thoughts absorb sound like sponges soak up water. Please don’t whistle while I masturbate.”