“My meat smells like cat food. Makes me want to lick my own asshole.”

“The ability to lick their own asses, does this make cats their own bosses?”

“Every time I see my cat licking its asshole I think about my ex wife. But that’s how nostalgia works, right? We only remember the best of the available memories.”

“My asshole smells like a bookstore. So, are you a big reader?”

“I just got around to brushing my teeth today, and now my asshole smells minty fresh.”

“My fur coat is still wet, not from the rain, but from where my cat was licking it. Well, my future fur coat. I have yet to kill and skin it.”

“A candle that smells like asshole would be an instant hit in prison.”