“My mother-in-law scared the hell out of me. But it’s cool, because the stench of Satan reminds me of her anyways. Hungry? Deviled eggs anyone?”

“The two sisters wouldn’t sleep with me. But it’s cool, because they were nuns, and I didn’t have my clerical costume on.”

“I eat spaghetti with my fingers, because it reminds me of me running my fingers through her wet red hair. Ah, but that’s life, no?”

“She drew me as a chubby rectangle. But that’s cool, because Chubby Rectangle was my nickname in high school. Hey, it’s better than Fats Domino.”

“I was reminded of my ex girlfriend the other day. It’s amazing that something as simple as a first and last name, identical to hers, could remind me of her. I wonder how Zelda McFelda is doing thee days.”

“Yes, life could be better. But it could also be worse. Don’t believe me? Allow me introduce you to my mother-in-law.”

“I like food that speaks to me. Food like French toast, English muffins, and Deviled eggs. Oh, oval embryonic spawn of chicken, why hast thou deceived me?”