“My neck size is about the size of both of my girlfriend’s clenched hands.”

“I need to dig a hole the size of the Grand Canyon to bury all of my problems.”

“Though my stomach is only the size of a pea, I could eat two politicians’ brains.”

“I’ve just begun to scratch the surface of my talent, and boy does my talent itch. It’s like a red mosquito bite the size of Mars.”

“Though my skull is the size of a soup bowl, everything in the universe—and more—can fit inside my imagination. And guess what? My imagination tastes like chicken noodle soup.”

“How many birthdays can you fit in a shoebox? I guess that depends both on how old you are, and what size shoe you wear.”

“A blanket could be used to wipe away my tears. But it’d better be a blanket the size of America, because I’ve been crying since Andrew Jackson died.
”