“My new employer made me get a drug test, so I ripped off my shirt, flexed my muscles, and said, “You suspect me of taking steroids, don’t you?”

“My girlfriend bought me a collared shirt for my birthday, mainly so I don’t get too far ahead of her when she takes me for a walk.”

“Is this the part where you start tearing off strips of your shirt to bind my wounds?""If you wanted me to rip my clothes off, you should have just asked.”

“Don’t you think you should at least get dressed?”“Don’t you think you should at least give me my shirt then?” -Cash”

“Oh God, you’re one of those pimps that takes girls off the streets and gets them addicted to drugs and turns them into prostitutes, aren’t you?!” My future suddenly maps out in front of me. I can see myself all greasy hair, short skirts and ripped tights, getting into stranger’s cars.”

“My sheep pants don’t make me one of them. However, 37 Brantleys made an appeal on my behalf, but I still have to take off my pants.”