“My rural erection didn’t impress the people in town, but I did have all the dairy farmers lining up to try to milk it.”

“I used to live in a seedy section of town. There were a lot of farmers in the area.”

“My body had some sort of reaction to my erection, and the only thing I could think to do was vigorously rub the affected area. By the look on their faces, I could tell the other people in the restaurant found my holistic technique horrifying, and they didn’t appreciate the grasp of the situation I held at that moment.”

“Only cowards never tire of cowering. I try to milk the cower for all it’s worth.”

“The other day I tried to design a finish line, but I didn’t know where to start. So I just sat there and drank Gatorade. Ah, but that’s life, no?”

“Somebody dialed the wrong number trying to reach me, but I didn’t pick up because I didn’t recognize the number, or the legitimacy of the situation.”

“Right now I have a milk mustache. I grew it on a cattle ranch, and then glued it to my face.”