“My sheep pants don’t make me one of them. However, 37 Brantleys made an appeal on my behalf, but I still have to take off my pants.”

“I have a whisper like a zipper. Your secret is safe in my pants.”

“I want to make pants out of tuna fish, to accompany my cottage cheese thighs.”

“My new employer made me get a drug test, so I ripped off my shirt, flexed my muscles, and said, “You suspect me of taking steroids, don’t you?”

“If I didn’t have any pants on, I’d let you taste my pantslessness.”

“It’s not what you wear that sets you apart from your fellow man, but what you don’t wear. I don’t wear pants, for instance, and while you’re pondering that, take a moment to gaze at my penis.”

“I took my pants off slowly, thinking if I did it too fast I’d possibly rip a hole in the center of the universe.”