“My stomach is my locker. Let me store your lunch for you. You’ll get it back, it’ll just be squishy, brown, and smelly.”

“I still remember my middle school locker combination. Maybe I should go back to my old locker to see if I left my innocence in there.”

“Amnesia is not the only time you’ll forget who you are. It’ll also happen the first time you see your own clone.”

“A brick could be used as a trophy, and when you get yours, believe me, you’ll have earned it.
”

“I need to lay low for a while. I’ll be on my stomach, trying not to arch my back (damn scoliosis).”

“Jarod Kintz Day—it’s not just my birthday, but it should be a holiday that’s mandatory to celebrate, punishable by death if you don’t. It’ll be a holiday that honors freedom.
”

“I can’t get car parts at Lowes, the home improvement store? If I lived in my car, my car would be my home.”