“My time at the pool went swimmingly. Better than a nude beach, because I was the only one who was naked.”

“I’m glad I don’t have any foreskin, because at a nude beach I’d feel overdressed. (It’d be the only time I could feel overdressed by showing too much skin).”

“I don’t sleep naked, because that’s not proper beach etiquette.”

“I swam in the neighborhood peel. I mean pool. I guess I threw that pee in there because the swimming experience left a bad taste in my mouth.”

“I used to spend a lot of time in lap pools. Growing up I was on a few swim teams. In Florida all there is to do is surf, swim, golf, and try to pick up single women at the retirement home.”

“I’d Poe’s nude for the approval of a dead poet. No names come to mind, but I’m sure there must be one I’d get naked for.”

“I am the bathtub of desire, but damnit woman, I saw you eyeing that swimming pool.”