“My wallet isn’t empty—it’s full of hope. Thanks, Obama!”

“My wallet was empty after the charity auction. Of course, my wallet was empty before the auction too. I donated my time and money to strippers.”

“The canvas isn’t empty. It’s full of whatever you imagine it to be full of. My art is so conceptual that not only do I not tell, but I don’t even show. All I do is sign the canvas and try to sell it.”

“I sell Ziploc bags. They’re not empty—they’re full of hope.”

“Time flows like a canoe floats, and my love would fit in your purse if you’d just empty your money into my wallet.”

“When I’m feeling down, I make myself a big bowl of Up Soup. The bowl only looks empty, but in reality it’s full of hope. Grab a spoon, there’s plenty for both of us.”

“I’d rather fail to try than try and fail. But, then, I am a coward who votes with my wallet, which is always empty.”