“My wallet was empty after the charity auction. Of course, my wallet was empty before the auction too. I donated my time and money to strippers.”

“Time flows like a canoe floats, and my love would fit in your purse if you’d just empty your money into my wallet.”

“My wallet isn’t empty—it’s full of hope. Thanks, Obama!”

“I’d rather fail to try than try and fail. But, then, I am a coward who votes with my wallet, which is always empty.”

“I hate it when I go shopping and leave my wallet at home, in my pants, along with my underwear.”

“A whisper is the shadow of a shout, and I keep a few in my wallet to use at the strip club on rainy nights.”

“My gas tank is on empty, but my erection is on full. Still, it would be wise to stop the car before I pump.”