“My wife and I aren’t a match. We’re a match and gasoline.”

“My face doesn’t match my personality. Maybe it would if instead of a mouth I had an asshole in its place.
”

“The hole in my heart matches the key I gave her, and I’d like it back, along with the key to my hope chest.”

“I don’t have any upper body strength, but that matches up perfectly with my lack of lower body strength.”

“It’s important that my socks match. I don’t want anything that distracts from my sock puppet show. Quiet, now! Show starts in ten seconds.”

“I know she is going on vacation, so I knitted her a sweater. It matches the bathing suit I knitted her, and it’s as revealing as my feelings for her.”

“Orafoura paid me in pajamas, and I let him because the pajamas matched his plaid mustache.”