“My words and my ideas are my property, and I’ll keep and protect them as surely as I do my stable of unicorns.”

“Sure, I’ll take your pamphlet. I need to fill up my trashcan anyway.”

“I built my ex wife a Castle of Love, and she dug a moat and filled it with sharks and lawyers. Oh well, at least I got to keep the unicorn.”

“My mouth is often wounded by my sharp words, so sometimes when I’m out in public, I’ll wear a large Band Aid over my lips.”

“I’ll bet if I write a sentence and mention the word “edit,” people will slow down and scour my words for errors. Did it wrok?
”

“I’m feeling a little under the weather. But once I open my umbrella, I’m sure I’ll begin to feel better.”

“I like to keep a shotgun in my room for protection. You know, just in case my apartment gets broken into by a pack of deer, which is something I’m constantly worrying about.”