“Nearly all of the men I admire are dead, because admiration is fueled by mystery. And what's more mysterious than death? Nothing. Well, besides women, of course.”

“In the midst of the mist lies a mystery that only The Mythical Mr. Boo can solve. Nothing is more mystical, more foggy, and more less than love, so in matters of the heart I turn to him, because he isn’t real.”

“Nobody is mysteriously mysterious. To be mysterious all it takes is hard work, misdirection, and a fog machine.”

“I have a secret secret admirer. Not only is her identity a secret—but so is the fact that she admires me.
”

“I want to create a cologne that smells like a whisper. It’ll be for all the secret admirers out there.”

“When someone I admire turns out to be a rather normal guy, I get offended because it’s an insult to my jealousy.”

“I own nothing, but at least nothing owns me. Well, besides the bank.”