“Night—it’s the only thing that will cover up one of my black moods. Good thing my depression isn’t an every day kind of thing. It’s an after day thing.”

“My favorite thing isn’t being the favorite to win—it’s being the underdog.”

“The greatest thing in the world is love. But the worst isn’t hate, it’s ignoringance.”

“If it’s not one thing, it’s another. The other thing is, of course, two. That makes the one thing love, because two is the smallest number you can have to get the one.”

“Take me to Happy Birthday Land. It’s open 364 days of the year, and the one day of the year it’s closed for cleaning happens to be my birthday. 
”

“Love isn’t a series of slogans like “Just do it,” “It’s the real thing,” or “Go ahead, stick it in my butt.” Love is much more than that. Love is also a logo. I know, because I have it tattooed on my ass.”

“Writing all day every day is good, but it’s not good enough. You need to have your clone ghostwriting for you too.”