“Ninety minutes of pure naughty (limit 30 minutes per customer). *No clones or triplets allowed!”

“There may be a sucker born every minute, but every 30 seconds a lollipop pops out.”

“Question for your life: If we were to kiss passionately for 30 minutes, would you refill my oxygen tank in the process?”

“Pulling your head out of your ass is better than pulling your head out of a lawyer’s ass. (Limit one coupon per customer).”

“I drove 30 miles to buy some breath mints before I realized I had some already in my pocket. Then it took me another 30 minutes to figure out they weren’t breath mints at all—they were aspirins.”

“This book does not exist. And if that doesn’t deter you from buying it, then I’m also selling frozen alien flesh, a patch of Bigfoot’s fur, and a patch of land on Pluto (limit one per customer).
”

“Five minutes ago it was five minutes late, and my watch is five minutes slow.”