“Nobody can stop me. But only because I haven’t started yet.”

“I haven’t spent my time trying to duplicate my success. But only because I haven’t had any yet.”

“Don’t bother calling the cops, because nobody can find me here. I know, because after all these years, I’m still trying to find myself.”

“Do you mind if I use your bathroom? I haven’t made dinner yet.”

“I’m 32 years old and I’m tired. It’s because I haven’t drank enough coffee. If I had, I’d probably only be 29.”

“You are going to lose your home, your spouse, your life, and all at once, when you die. So why not drink coffee now and remember the life you haven’t started living yet?”

“I haven’t had a birthday party in a while, probably because I’m not really into celebrating myself. Especially not for an achievement (the creation of me) that I did not contribute too.”