“North, south, east, west, I need to find a nude erection to point the way.”

“The basketball team was trailing by three points. I trail by four points—north, south, east, and west. I also trail by covered wagon.”

“A one-winged bird does not fly south for the winter. It flies south, west, north, and east, over and over. That’s how I feel when I’m in love, only I walk.”

“I’m world famous. Throughout the globe—north, south, east, and west—there are literally four people who know my name. It’s great to have all four grandparents still living, and widely dispersed around the world.”

“I wish my erection pointed inwards. But it doesn’t, it points directly at you.”

“For me, the badlands are entirely too naughty. The whole time I was in South Dakota I felt like I needed a spanking.”

“I have a photographic memory. Especially for nudes.”