“Not only do I not believe in not believing in God, I’m also a big supporter of crutches, canes, walkers, and anything that helps support man through difficult times.
”

“I will never buy a fish tank, because I don't believe in supporting the funding of aquatic war machines.”

“I lean on my friends for support. It’s better than leaning on a crutch, because your friends won’t accuse you of chugging down all the water out of the goldfish bowl. My friends know I have a drinking problem.”

“I honk at protestors to show my support, and also tell them to get the fuck out of my way.”

“I took the wheels of my bike off in support of your bicycle race to support bike riding.”

“I’m older now, which I can’t help, but I’m also fatter, thanks to all the extra helpings.”

“I’m a big cat lover, so I thought it’d be cool to join the Black Panther party. But can you believe it, those fucking honkies wouldn’t let me in.”