“Nothing in this world feels quite like freedom, except for freedom. And nothing in the world tastes quite like freedom, except for fried bald eagles.”

“I don’t like dirt, because nothing is dirtier. Except politics.
”

“My dreams have wings. But not soaring eagle wings, more like the wings of a butterfly—colorful and easily ripped off. The last time my dreams got ripped off was when I shopped at Walmart, the place where freedom soars like a caterpillar under the foot of oppression.”

“There’s nothing I like better than a beautiful sunset. Except maybe a gorgeous sunrise. And a naked woman painted pink and orange floating through the sky.”

“I’m a fan of Meatloaf. He has a voice like it’s covered in thick gravy. There’s nothing better to make love to, with the possible exception of grandma’s casserole.”

“If flip flops were oppressive, I wouldn't wear any. I'd go around showing of my bare feet of freedom. And I'd tell everyone that freedom causes blisters.”

“If frogs tasted like chicken, I’d gladly jump in the frying pan. Ah, but that’s life, no?”