“On average, women are better liars than men. But the best liars are men, because politicians are still predominantly men.
”

“I’m not a good liar, and that makes me a good liar, because liars are bad, and bad liars are good.”

“The reason it’s hard for men to say “I love you” is because those three words represent 10% of the average man’s vocabulary.”

“Nearly all of the men I admire are dead, because admiration is fueled by mystery. And what's more mysterious than death? Nothing. Well, besides women, of course.”

“Men are from vaginas, and women are from women.”

“Men and women think about love differently. The main difference is that men simply don’t think about it.”

“If given the choice, I’d take five ones over a five-dollar bill, because women prefer men with lots of money.”