“On the night of the murder I was at home, asleep. The characters in my dream can vouch for me.”

“Dream nonsense: Character: Hey, how are you? Me: I’m tired. I mean, this is a dream, so I must be, right?”

“But if she could be here, she probably wouldn’t be here. But that won’t stop me from ordering for two, and if I can’t eat it all I’ll take the leftovers home so I can heat up my loneliness and enjoy it for dinner tomorrow night.”

“In my dream I woke up to realize I was tired and needed to go to sleep. Then I slowly remembered that I was asleep, but that I needed to wake up and write this down. Blah.”

“At the time of the murder, I had an airtight alibi: I spent the night in a Ziploc bag.”

“When I’m asleep I’m a politician, and when I’m awake I’m a criminal. Throughout the day and night, my mentality never changes.”

“As we were walking home the other night, Orafoura turned to me and said, “Were you aware that there are places in the universe where time doesn’t exist?”“I know,” I replied. “That’s where I went to buy my last watch.”