“One javelin through five people is like a murder kabob. Saves bullets.”

“I added five shots to my coffee, because that’s all the bullets my magazine can hold.”

“I could have murdered a man today, but by not doing so I saved his life, and thus became a hero to myself. I’m like that all the time. Being heroic, I mean.”

“If I could die saving two lives, I would, provided each of those two people were the kind of people who would die to save two more like them.”

“I think guns would be more effective if bullets worked like boomerangs.”

“One to five, I’m not sure how most people would rate me. But I’m certainly top four to anyone who doesn’t have a thumb.”

“If given the choice, I’d take five ones over a five-dollar bill, because women prefer men with lots of money.”