“One of the most productive ways a government can spend money on the people is by building more prisons. That’s what makes the US so great. That’s what freedom is all about.
”

“Making money for my clones, now that’s what I call self-enrichment. Having all my clones working for me, working for free, and enriching me, now that’s what I call social progress. Ah, but that’s life, no?”

“The best part about teamwork, is me collecting all the prize money. Hey, that’s what captains are for, right?”

“I can’t extrapolate a theory of what people would do based on the limited data set of what one person—myself—would do. That’s why I need clones, so I can more accurately gauge what large crowds of people would do in a given situation.”

“Kill all the prisoners, because they’re costing us too much money. Wait! No, kill all the politicians, because they’re spending too much money.”

“The thing that has impacted life on earth the most is life on mars. That’s where the government is storing all my clones.”

“I left the door open so you could come in—and I could go out. That’s what being in love is all about.”