“Pain produces progress. So if you truly love me, you will try to hurt me as much as you can. If you really want me to grow as a person, you will water me with betrayal, abuse, neglect, derision, thievery, and possibly even torture.”

“Rain, it always reminds me of water. And you know how much I love things that remind me of other things. Say, that reminds me...”

“Love is a gift you receive by giving. The more love you give, the more love you get. Try it out today, and try it out with me. Go ahead—give me all your love.”

“I am the rainbow of love. Even if things get stormy, you know you can count on me. Call me Roy G. Biv, and I’ll ride you like a pony.”

“Love walked in the door like a dusty cowboy, and I looked that cowboy dead in his eyes and said, “I thought I shot you.” And his eyes never blinked, wavered, or watered as he said, “You did. You shot me in the leg. But you can’t kill love that easily. And today you’re going to learn how deadly Love can be.” That was over four years ago, and I’m still alive. So that was his plan all along, to serve me up a super slow death. Sort of like torture, only imperceptible and more pleasant.”

“You and I have a love so secret that not even you know about it. But first, let me introduce myself.”

“I don’t demand much. All I expect is for you to love me so much you kill yourself just to get my attention.”