“Pants don’t walk without legs in them. Let that be a lesson in love.”

“Don’t search for a void to fill. Find a vacuum to carpet. Let this be a lesson in love.”

“I walk like I have tornadoes for legs. Let us make love like Kansas.”

“My sheep pants don’t make me one of them. However, 37 Brantleys made an appeal on my behalf, but I still have to take off my pants.”

“If you don’t know what love feels like, you’re in luck, because I just finished making a new pair of Love Gloves. They’re lined with fur and are perfect for a cold February 14th winter day. I’ll let you borrow them sometime, maybe even this summer. I recommend wearing them in conjunction with my Sensitivity Pants, which are so tight they show the emotion betrayed by your crotch.”

“I often wear camouflaged pants so when I walk I look like a floating torso. I love with the same air of mystery.”

“If I didn’t have any pants on, I’d let you taste my pantslessness.”