“Participation trophies are junk. If all you have to do is show up, how worthless are they? Unless you’re invisible and deaf, and then one of those trophies would be meaningful, because simply showing up is exactly what is hard for you to do.”

“A trophy isn’t about the hardware, the gold-painted statue mounted on marble, it’s about the recognition of excellence. A trophy is a physical representation of the abstract concepts of hard work and dedication. And that’s precisely why I don’t have any trophies.
”

“How to arrive unexpectedly and invisibly: show up looking poor, but not homeless.”

“Receiving trophies is all about getting recognized. Wearing big sunglasses and a fake mustache is about not being recognized. Why not wearable trophies, so you can be recognizably unrecognizable?”

“Don’t show me how I messed up, because I don’t need to be shown. Clearly if I’ve messed up once, I can do it again without any coaching from you.”

“A brick could be used as a trophy, and when you get yours, believe me, you’ll have earned it.
”

“A good server knows how to be seen, yet remain invisible. I was a great server, and I achieved invisibility by never showing up for work. My boss ended up firing me, probably over petty jealousy.”