“People should be heard, and music should be listened to.”

“I heard my friend’s car wouldn’t start, so I mailed him a parking lot. I should be a politician.”

“A brick should decide who gets to rule the people, and I should decide what rules determine whom the brick favors.”

“An ideal first date should involve things like a candle-lit dinner, soft music, and a binary anal defibrillator, with a guest appearance by Renaldo.”

“The government should either force the population to get healthy, or tax them for not complying. If the people still refuse to shape up, they should be imprisoned. Nothing is healthier for society than more government regulation.”

“Some people should have stopped singing in the 60s, even if they were born in the 80s.”

“You should plan ahead, so people know roughly where to start digging to look for you.”