“People think I’m all gloom and doom all the time. I’m not. I also have bad days where I’m pessimistic.”

“People can only grow, stagnate, or regress. Which one are you doing? I’m both growing and stagnating, because I’m learning every day, so I’m growing, but since learning has become a habit and I do it all the time, I’m technically stagnating. I’m stagnating upwards.”

“I’m older now, which I can’t help, but I’m also fatter, thanks to all the extra helpings.”

“The closer I get, the faster I have to go. Otherwise, I might be late to the very place where I’m not even expected. Adding to my tardiness is the fact that I don’t even know where I’m going. And I can’t get from here to there when I don’t even know where I am, let alone where I’m going. All I know is I’m going fast, but not fast enough.”

“I’m a four-time Pulitzer Prize winning admirer. I’m also a 16-time Olympic medalist observer (I saw Michael Phelps on TV).”

“When people change, I’m disappointed they’re not who I remember them being. And when people don’t change, I’m disappointed they still are who they were. All people do is disappoint, and I do mean all people.”

“This place reminds me of the time I had amnesia. I think. It also reminds me of being in love. That must mean I’m lost.”