“Pillow talk always puts me to sleep. I’d rather chat about bed sheets, which can be converted into capes.”

“Going to bed at sunrise, I find a blindfold helps me sleep. Also, I like it when my kidnappers put pillows in the trunk.”

“I’d rather fail to try than try and fail. But, then, I am a coward who votes with my wallet, which is always empty.”

“I’d like to write a screenplay about my grandpa, and I’d like my future grandson to play the part. Talk about a mindfuck!”

“To me, the most confusing part about golf is that I don’t know whether I’d rather actually be playing golf, or sitting on the green composing haikus about the landscaping.”

“I’d say if you’re using an avocado facial mask before you go to sleep, don’t complain when I want to bring tortilla chips to bed.”

“Come, midget, and use my pillow as a sleeping bag.”