“Politically, Republicans and Democrats are at opposite ends. One’s a burp and the other’s a fart.”

“A brick is what I’m voting for for President. And guess what? If you’re voting for a Republican or Democrat, so are you.
”

“A brick could be used in conjunction with another brick to be the Democrat and Republican Presidential candidates. People will say, Vote for the brick on the left, or, The brick on the right is better. But do not be deceived—they're both the same, and they're both bricks.
”

“Whether you’re a Democrat or a Republican, I think everybody can agree that politicians are crooks. But I don’t think politicians are thieves, because you can’t steal what you’ve been given. Once we stop giving in, they’ll stop taking.
”

“Love is yesterday’s tomorrow, minus the frozen musical notes, soggy teabags, and political opposition from your own embryonic offspring.”

“As a point of fact, the best apologies don’t come at the point of a sword, they come freely and of one’s own volition, hours and sometimes even days after the torture session has ended.”

“I can tell if two people are in love by how they hold each other’s hands, and how thick their sanitation gloves are.”