“Question for your life: If there were a fountain machine that dispensed destruction instead of soda, would you grab an extra large cup?”

“Question for your life: If we were to kiss passionately for 30 minutes, would you refill my oxygen tank in the process?”

“Question for your life: If love covered as much of the earth’s surface as the oceans, would you still urinate in your wetsuit?”

“Question for your life: If the man of your dreams existed in two dimensions only, would you try to print duplicates of him?”

“A fuel pump is a fountain drink machine for cars. And people who want to save the environment and get drunk and run to work.”

“Question for your life: What is the price of love, and would you rather tally it with an abacus or an early 90s calculator watch?”

“I took a shower under a fountain drink machine at a gas station because it beats showering with unleaded gasoline at $3.33 a gallon and rising.”