“Question for your life: Would you rather be the first female U.S. President, the first woman to walk on the moon, or the first woman to be courted by two clones who looked like Christian Bale?”

“Amnesia is not the only time you’ll forget who you are. It’ll also happen the first time you see your own clone.”

“I want to be the first and second man to dance on the moon. No, I won’t moonwalk. But I will Cha Cha—with my clone.”

“Who’d cum first, you or your clone? To find out, why don’t you go fuck yourself?”

“My clones will look like me, and therefore I’ll treat them like myself—starting with spending all their hard-earned money. You can’t love someone else if you can’t first love yourself.”

“If a woman asked me how far I’d go on a first date, my reply would be 69 miles. Round trip, not one way.”

“I want to meet a woman named Sherry who only drinks brandy, and a woman named Brandy who only drinks sherry. Then I’ll offer each one of them one magical night of sex with me, in the form of two of my clones.”