“Question for your life: Would you rather be the first female U.S. President, the first woman to walk on the moon, or the first woman to be courted by two clones who looked like Christian Bale?”

“Those of us who follow politics seriously rather than view it as a game show do not look at Hillary Clinton and simply think 'first woman president.' We think—for example—'first ex-co-president' or 'first wife of a disbarred lawyer and impeached former incumbent' or 'first person to use her daughter as photo-op protection during her husband's perjury rap.”

“Léonie, you will do well to consider. You are not the first woman in my life."She smiled through her tears. "Monseigneur, I would so much rather be the last woman than the first,” she said.”

“There are some things (like first love and one’s first reviews) at which a woman in her middle years does not care to look too closely.”

“Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon. I am the first man to piss his pants on the moon.”

“For a woman's words to wound would require a man to listen first!”