“Rain is a nudist’s shower, and I want a bathtub the size of a lake. Then we could make love like your parents did that one time, nine months before your birth.”

“Being in the womb was like taking a nine-month bath. I wanted to take a shower, but no matter how hard I kicked, or how loud I screamed, my mom wouldn’t listen.”

“I wanted to make love in the rain, but owing to unfavorable (or, rather favorable) weather conditions, I took to the shower as a suitable substitute.”

“I want a shower the size of the Sydney Opera House, because you know damn well I sing in the shower. And I might as well make millions off my cleanliness.”

“I make love like I sing—in a choir, alone in the bathtub.”

“My dreams died nine months before I was born
”

“I was nine minutes late for my last birthday party. And I was nine months on time for my first birthday.”