“Reading a book is like having the ability to dip a straw into the author’s soul and sip and slurp without lowering the water table of wisdom.
”

“For your birthday I’ll give you 100 copies of your least favorite author’s book, and they’ll all be autographed. Now, should I sign the cover, or the inside flap?”

“I used to have straw-colored hair. Horses loved it.”

“Some people read books on musicians, while I read music books. Not books on music, but literally books full of sheet music. Fascinating reading.”

“To keep my cat from drinking out of the toilet, I could close the toilet lid, I could close the bathroom door, or I could pull my straw out of the water and stop setting a bad example.”

“I find wisdom in the waves. Goodbye is a hello to a life without you.”

“I drink sleep, but not like I drink coffee. I chug one and sip the other.”