“Sandwiches come in shrink-wrap—therefore, I must masturbate with gloves on. Lunchtime! The coffee’s stale but the cream will be fresh.”
“I like wearing gloves made of cheese (Swiss), and then going around asking elderly men if they want a knuckle sandwich.”
“Come to think of it, Your Majesty, I believe I must still be growing. Either that, or you are shrinking.”
“i stay fresh like i'm wrapped in plastic.”
“...stale details often regain a degree of freshness when they pass through new lips.”
“Tex shrink-wrapped a dealer’s BMW. Wrapped the wholething in plastic wrap and then used a portable blow drier on itto tighten the plastic. Wordhas it, it was several layers deep.”