“Sandwiches come in shrink-wrap—therefore, I must masturbate with gloves on. Lunchtime! The coffee’s stale but the cream will be fresh.”

Jarod Kintz

Jarod Kintz - “Sandwiches come in shrink-wrap—therefore...” 1

Similar quotes

“I like wearing gloves made of cheese (Swiss), and then going around asking elderly men if they want a knuckle sandwich.”

Jarod Kintz
Read more

“Come to think of it, Your Majesty, I believe I must still be growing. Either that, or you are shrinking.”

C.L. Wilson
Read more

“i stay fresh like i'm wrapped in plastic.”

Common
Read more

“...stale details often regain a degree of freshness when they pass through new lips.”

Charlotte Brontë
Read more

“Tex shrink-wrapped a dealer’s BMW. Wrapped the wholething in plastic wrap and then used a portable blow drier on itto tighten the plastic. Wordhas it, it was several layers deep.”

Kristen Ashley
Read more