“Shakespeare asked what’s in a name. Well, each of my clones won’t be named the same as me, but they’ll be me and just as sweet.”

“If I had my clone take a test for me, it’s likely I’d misspell my own name. And I’m terrible at remembering people’s names—even if that person is me.”

“I worry about identity theft. What’s to stop somebody from cloning me to drain the cash from my bank account? And it’d be just as easy for my clone to pretend to be me as it is for me to pretend to be me.”

“If somebody kills me, at least I won’t be accused of murder. Well, assuming all my clones have alibis.”

“I want to meet a woman named Sherry who only drinks brandy, and a woman named Brandy who only drinks sherry. Then I’ll offer each one of them one magical night of sex with me, in the form of two of my clones.”

“I tattooed my name on my buttocks, so you’d know what an ass I am. Also so either me or my clone could claim me, if I ever got lost.”

“My favorite tree is the Joshua tree, which is named after me. Well, it will be, once I change my name to Joshua.”