“Sharks are so stupid. They swam right up to the boat, and they couldn’t even tell that I was chumming the water with ketchup, rather than blood.”

“Blood may be thicker than water, but it's certainly not as thick as ketchup. Nor does it go as well with French fries.”

“I wonder if the singer named Seal got his name by using his cheeks as chumming material for Great White sharks.”

“If sharks really can smell blood, then I’d imagine they’re all salivating over my erection right now.”

“As our bodies are mostly made of water, I’d rather be hungry than thirsty. And as love is mostly made up of sugar water, I’d rather be a hummingbird caged in your heart.”

“I’m in disguise. I’m disguised as myself, and I’m a master of disguise, so that’s why you couldn’t tell I was in disguise. Not even my clone could tell.”

“If I had a choice between walking along a sidewalk with no rails and a thousand foot drop, or jumping in a tank full of blood and sharks, I’d choose the sharks.”