“She had a picture of a llama, so under it I wrote, “I didn’t know you knew my brother.”

“I knew it, but I knew you didn’t know I knew it, so I knew to not let you know I knew it by acting like I didn’t know it.”

“I wrote a zen koan once about love, but it didn’t make any sense. That’s how I knew I had accurately described love.”

“I wrote my name on the list 10 years ago, and under the date I wrote “In the future.” But how’d I know I’d show up, and not my clone posing as me?”

“On the card I wrote, “Thinking of you,” and the picture was of my erect penis. I hope my local congressman got it OK.”

“I just broke up with my girlfriend. My wife will be pleased. But first she’ll be displeased, because she didn’t know I had a girlfriend.”

“She wanted to know if I loved her, so I texted her a picture of a dead bird.”