“She had lips like two wavy slices of crisp bacon, and her kisses felt like gravy on my scrambled eggs tongue. We made love like we made breakfast—and then we made brunch like rabbits.”

“We made love like a slice of French toast trying to act like an English muffin.”

“I was rubbing the pieces of bacon like they were strands of a lover’s hair. Of course they weren’t, because all my exes had hair like scrambled eggs.”

“We made eyes at each other, and then we made love. We also made other things too, like meatloaf.”

“We made love for 8 seconds. She rode me like a bull.”

“I remember the first time we made love like it was the second time. We never made love again, and I don’t regret it for a second.”

“We made love like three seasons, but I didn’t fall.”