“She tried to insult me in front of the whole party. So what could I do but yawn and walk away?”

“She asked if I found what she was telling me very exciting, and I managed to yelp out “very” while yawning.”

“She yawned so loudly that I wanted to use her mouth as a putt putt golf hole.”

“I could see that she was eager to please and impress me, and I was excited to see someone so excited to try to excite me. In all the excitement I forgot where I was, who I was, and why I was trying to kill her.”

“She told me she has her eye on me, so I said, And what do you have your other eye on?”

“If I could fly, life would be amazing. But paraplegic people say the same thing about walking, and I freaking hate walking. Somebody might ask me, “Hey, do you want to go for a walk?” and I’ll reply, “Nope. But I do want to have a seat on a chair with wheels and roll along with you.” So maybe flight isn’t so cool after all. Possibly birds get pissed off they have to fly everywhere. 
”

“And out came an insult with the velocity of a whisper. But I could see I offended, so I zipped up my pants and left the wedding reception.”