“She’s beautiful, but she’s also got brains. I’ll bet zombies would love to eat out of her skull like a bowl of Jell-O that had an IQ of 180—which is absurd, because the last bowl of Jell-O I ate only measured in with an IQ of 123. Still, an IQ of 123 is more than double what it probably takes to be elected into political office.”

“I want to be the Everyman and take an IQ test and get a perfect 100.”

“What is man’s shared IQ? And more important, how thick should my body armor be to protect myself against it?”

“I ate a rainbow in a bowl, because it’s better than eating rain soup. Food and water aren’t supposed to be one and the same.
”

“After a good run, my legs feel like Jell-O. Somebody get me a spoon and stick a fork in me.”

“The most deadly combination known to man is low IQ and high testosterone.”

“If science took my IQ and spread it evenly among the world's population, like mental mayonnaise, we'd have more art, less war, and higher cholesterol.”